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Roundhouse your way through
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In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
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#229
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
#480
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
#421
Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
#495
Chuck Norris' first program was kill -9.
#401
Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
#106
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
#422
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
#107
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.
#434
For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
#501
The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
#248
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
#42
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
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