Once a police officer caught Chuck Norris, the cop was lucky enough to escape with a warning. 325 359 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 48% approval (684 votes)
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Chuck Norris, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.