Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#423

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#321

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

#383

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

#244

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

#336

Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

#523

Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.

#194

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

#366

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

#349

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.