Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#173

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

#346

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

#449

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

#548

Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.

#276

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

#197

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

#204

Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#191

An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.

#220

Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.