Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#509

Chuck Norris' beard can type 140 wpm.

#290

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

#306

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.

#228

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

#216

Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

#419

Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.

#395

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

#711

What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.

#544

Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

#140

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

#653

Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.