Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#426

Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.

#744

Chuck Norris once ran around the Earth so fast he was able to roundhouse kick himself in the ass.

#445

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

#36

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#452

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

#62

Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.

#210

Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

#599

How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.

#419

Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.

#394

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

#222

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.