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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
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#112
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
#321
Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
#74
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
#594
Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.
#83
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
#357
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
#180
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
#727
Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.
#120
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
#713
Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.
#341
70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.
#232
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
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