Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

279 273

More Chuck Norris facts

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#213

It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.

#358

182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.

#509

Chuck Norris' beard can type 140 wpm.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#352

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

#630

There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#4

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling "Bang!"

#333

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

#487

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

#412

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.