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Roundhouse your way through
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Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
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#130
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
#331
Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
#481
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
#373
Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
#174
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
#357
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
#469
Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.
#240
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"
#501
The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
#62
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
#706
When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
#619
Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.
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