When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#197

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#175

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

#48

Chuck Norris' OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.

#203

The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.

#394

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

#522

For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).

#302

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a hole. Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

#677

Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.

#112

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

#513

When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?"