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When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
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#381
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
#516
Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.
#190
Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
#259
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
#745
Chuck Norris can swim on land.
#594
Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.
#86
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
#686
Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.
#123
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
#661
Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.
#496
Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
#192
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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