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When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
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#90
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
#26
As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
#347
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
#526
Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
#237
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
#498
MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).
#348
Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
#708
Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.
#148
Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
#408
Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
#631
Did you know that Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie? He was "The Force".
#17
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
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