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When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
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#483
Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".
#403
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
#504
Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.
#293
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
#15
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.
#461
The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.
#705
Chuck Norris can read a book in his sleep.
#214
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
#93
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
#663
Chuck Norris can find the 404 page.
#600
Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.
#398
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
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