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Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.
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#488
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
#86
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
#581
If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.
#604
Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
#679
Chuck Norris understands women.
#354
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
#747
When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.
#178
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
#105
Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.
#506
Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
#714
When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
#219
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
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