Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them. 45 36 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 56% approval (81 votes)
Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.