Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#544

Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

#528

Chuck Norris doesn't pair program.

#563

Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.

#710

When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.

#697

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

#729

Chuck Norris runs laps around his opponent, in a drag race.

#150

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

#269

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

#336

Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

#630

There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#637

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.