Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting. 380 289 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 57% approval (669 votes)
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().