Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#598

Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.

#480

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

#484

Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#92

Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.

#352

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

#455

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

#138

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#711

What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.

#236

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

#668

Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.