Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#283

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

#96

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

#127

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

#227

'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.

#536

Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.

#736

When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

#249

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

#644

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush. He roundhouse kicks it to the face.

#529

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.

#728

Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.

#682

Chuck Norris voids warranties.

#642

Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.