Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#538

Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

#372

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

#482

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

#657

Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.

#402

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.

#548

Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.

#450

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

#729

Chuck Norris runs laps around his opponent, in a drag race.

#391

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

#248

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

#445

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.