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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
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#124
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
#411
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
#239
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
#472
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
#143
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
#501
The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
#189
There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
#266
How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
#682
Chuck Norris voids warranties.
#437
Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
#322
Chuck Norris can taste lies.
#18
Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
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