70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#470

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

#664

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.

#145

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

#89

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

#571

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

#496

Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.

#540

Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.

#350

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

#410

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

#739

Chuck Norris can kill seven with one blow. By literally blowing on them.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#647

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.