70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick. 311 216 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 59% approval (527 votes)
Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.
Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.