70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#413

If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.

#273

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.

#611

Chuck Norris died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#473

A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

#134

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#502

Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.

#176

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

#85

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

#479

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

#94

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.