70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#386

Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.

#346

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

#593

Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#399

In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

#366

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

#95

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

#542

Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

#257

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

#238

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

#503

Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations... ever.