70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#620

Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.

#232

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#236

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

#467

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

#175

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

#294

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.

#596

Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.

#72

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

#183

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

#478

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

#15

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.