70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#599

How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.

#487

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

#640

Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.

#182

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

#219

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

#170

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

#740

Chuck Norris once took LSD just to give his hallucinations a bad trip.

#656

Chuck Norris can go past the Character limit.

#575

Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#411

When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

#557

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.