If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#217

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

#506

Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.

#439

After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.

#102

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

#436

Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.

#460

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

#575

Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#556

Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.

#197

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

#225

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

#260

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.