If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

#371

Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.

#219

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

#429

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#109

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

#203

The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#418

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

#90

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

#599

How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.

#427

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.