If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

262 334

More Chuck Norris facts

#29

Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.

#178

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

#263

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

#466

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.

#175

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

#685

Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

#276

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

#190

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

#621

Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

#681

Chuck Norris CAN talk about fight club.

#477

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

#245

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.