If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#651

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#624

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

#28

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'.

#24

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

#583

Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.

#67

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

#257

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

#352

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

#108

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

#618

Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.