If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#557

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

#671

The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.

#584

Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#216

Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

#692

Chuck Norris Let The Dogs Out.

#96

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

#155

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#15

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life.

#246

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

#18

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.