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Fact #239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

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Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times. There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it. Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion. As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history. Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain. See Top 100

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