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If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
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#77
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
#161
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
#279
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
#694
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.
#535
Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.
#319
The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
#606
Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.
#732
Chuck Norris hit 11 out of 10 targets, with 9 bullets.
#335
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
#656
Chuck Norris can go past the Character limit.
#387
Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.
#641
Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled himself ... and won.
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