When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#77

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

#434

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

#95

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

#661

Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.

#682

Chuck Norris voids warranties.

#407

Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.

#225

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

#559

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

#355

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

#388

A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#261

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.