When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

43 56

More Chuck Norris facts

#145

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

#232

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

#399

In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

#185

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

#169

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

#371

Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.

#579

Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.

#492

Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.

#116

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

#366

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

#295

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

#661

Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.