When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

#400

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

#432

Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

#68

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#646

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

#75

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

#390

Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.

#184

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

#377

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#425

There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

#677

Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.