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A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
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#607
Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.
#421
Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
#25
When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
#365
Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
#626
Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.
#149
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
#54
Chuck Norris' programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
#336
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
#141
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
#333
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
#36
The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.
#163
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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