Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions. 314 258 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 55% approval (572 votes)
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.