Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#713

Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.

#427

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

#115

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

#376

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

#724

Chuck Norris can play Xbox 360 with a PS3 controller.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#454

Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#350

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

#590

China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

#538

Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.

#256

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.