Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#143

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

#265

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

#262

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#735

Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.

#581

If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#550

Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.

#354

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

#422

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

#149

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

#395

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.