Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out. 305 304 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 50% approval (609 votes)
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.