If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#736

When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

#126

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

#189

There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.

#565

No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.

#702

Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.

#393

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.

#364

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"

#279

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

#454

Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.

#493

Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#190

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.