If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#415

Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

#190

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

#721

Chuck Norris fought the law, and Chuck Norris won.

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

#73

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

#505

It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.

#548

Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#251

Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#110

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

#62

Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.