If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

383 310

More Chuck Norris facts

#216

Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#257

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#556

Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.

#510

Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#233

Chuck Norris' favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.

#161

Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

#181

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

#89

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

#370

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.