Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#221

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

#87

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#597

Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.

#714

When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#334

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

#282

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

#305

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

#222

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

#73

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

#543

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.