Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#13

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

#299

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

#467

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

#139

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

#489

When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.

#300

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

#35

If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.

#335

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

#395

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

#9

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.

#241

Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.