Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.

295 334

More Chuck Norris facts

#38

The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

#552

Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.

#411

When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

#420

Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

#145

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

#674

Chuck Norris did it his way and Sinatra sang about it.

#505

It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.

#42

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".

#441

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

#269

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.