Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#502

Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.

#123

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

#733

Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.

#725

Chuck Norris can read and write emails from a typewriter.

#340

If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?

#464

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#683

Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#534

Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.

#180

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.