Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#393

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.

#575

Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.

#402

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.

#607

Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

#693

It's never a party without Chuck Norris.

#144

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

#190

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

#730

The reason Superman flies is because he knows Chuck Norris is on the ground.

#101

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

#182

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

#455

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.