Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#535

Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#646

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

#391

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

#487

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

#612

There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#500

Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

#315

The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.

#737

When Chuck Norris went to college, he told his father "You're the man of the house now".

#430

The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.

#41

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.