Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 292 335 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 47% approval (627 votes)
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.