Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 292 335 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 47% approval (627 votes)
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.