Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#616

Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.

#649

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

#183

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

#523

Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.

#722

Chuck Norris once won the Kentucky Derby, on foot.

#190

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

#318

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

#127

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#73

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

#514

Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.

#9

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.