Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#437

Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.

#317

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

#439

After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.

#53

Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.

#612

There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.

#384

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

#18

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

#305

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

#220

Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

#251

Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.

#228

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

#183

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.