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Roundhouse your way through
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Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
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#153
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
#91
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
#612
There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.
#227
'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
#71
Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
#230
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
#14
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
#472
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
#317
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
#88
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
#418
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
#166
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
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