Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth. 293 298 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 50% approval (591 votes)
Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.