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4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
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#444
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
#610
Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Chuck Norris' shooting practice.
#689
Chuck Norris once bought Chicago pizza in Seattle.
#382
Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
#229
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
#161
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
#147
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
#332
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
#451
When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
#112
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
#562
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
#638
Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.
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