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Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
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#162
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
#297
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
#277
Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
#203
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris' home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
#147
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
#601
Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.
#349
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
#266
How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
#81
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
#531
Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.
#241
Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
#537
If Chuck Norris writes code with bugs, the bugs fix themselves.
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