Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag. 330 314 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (644 votes)
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.