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Roundhouse your way through
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Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.
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#139
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
#678
The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
#321
Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
#496
Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
#581
If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.
#301
Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
#699
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
#14
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
#473
A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
#652
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
#120
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
#42
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
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