Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag. 333 313 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 52% approval (646 votes)
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.