Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#206

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#371

Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#261

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

#33

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

#386

Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.

#276

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

#178

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

#608

Once a police officer caught Chuck Norris, the cop was lucky enough to escape with a warning.