Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#20

Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"

#186

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

#259

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

#661

Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.

#66

If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

#393

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#537

If Chuck Norris writes code with bugs, the bugs fix themselves.

#586

Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.

#89

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

#155

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

#7

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.