Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#13

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

#155

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

#61

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

#364

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"

#559

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

#587

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

#243

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

#550

Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#318

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

#360

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

#651

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.