Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#219

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

#359

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

#373

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#371

Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.

#469

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

#426

Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.

#159

Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

#176

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

#546

Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.

#317

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

#448

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

#375

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.