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Chuck Norris understands women.
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#713
Chuck Norris drove his mom home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.
#81
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
#174
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
#665
Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.
#481
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
#675
Chuck Norris can bake in a Freezer.
#319
The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
#133
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
#56
Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.
#265
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
#77
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
#652
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
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