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Chuck Norris understands women.
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#77
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
#445
Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
#479
Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
#388
A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
#475
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#324
One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
#612
There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.
#168
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
#258
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
#618
Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
#689
Chuck Norris once bought Chicago pizza in Seattle.
#131
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).
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