Chuck Norris understands women. 295 240 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 55% approval (535 votes)
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.