Chuck Norris understands women. 295 240 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 55% approval (535 votes)
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.