On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. 370 287 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 56% approval (657 votes)
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.