On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. 369 287 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 56% approval (656 votes)
What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.