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Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
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#472
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
#585
Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature.
#241
Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
#412
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
#155
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
#548
Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.
#727
Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.
#162
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
#604
Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
#736
When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.
#719
Chuck Norris won the Tour de France with a stationary bicycle.
#183
Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
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