Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#279

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

#189

There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#680

Chuck fires a 6-round revolver 7 times.

#510

Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#505

It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#711

What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.

#653

Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.