Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#169

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

#693

It's never a party without Chuck Norris.

#275

Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

#353

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

#651

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

#445

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

#340

If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?

#529

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.

#557

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#450

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

#496

Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.