Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#543

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#307

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

#229

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

#352

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

#461

The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.

#36

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.

#709

Chuck Norris can rip a page out of Facebook.

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.

#661

Chuck Norris irons his trousers with them still on.

#89

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

#598

Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.