It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#110

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

#94

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

#41

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

#747

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.

#414

Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.

#619

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

#279

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

#74

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

#311

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

#733

Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#726

Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.