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Roundhouse your way through
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When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
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#149
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
#402
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
#588
Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.
#240
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"
#491
Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
#472
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
#299
Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.
#139
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
#697
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
#304
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
#609
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
#92
Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.
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