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Roundhouse your way through
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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#262
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
#565
No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
#460
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
#82
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
#68
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
#121
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
#198
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
#340
If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
#226
Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
#357
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
#176
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
#651
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
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