Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#461

The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.

#202

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

#499

Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#690

Chuck Norris caught a bullet by blinking.

#531

Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.

#311

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

#392

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

#395

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

#135

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#84

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

#213

It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.