Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#157

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#101

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

#143

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

#679

Chuck Norris understands women.

#198

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

#628

Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#495

Chuck Norris' first program was kill -9.

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#127

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

#87

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.