Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#236

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

#668

Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.

#702

Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#501

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

#391

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

#498

MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).

#53

Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.

#434

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

#358

182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.

#30

Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

#118

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.