Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.

317 310

More Chuck Norris facts

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#616

Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.

#666

Chuck Norris' bones break sticks and stones.

#344

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

#531

Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.

#86

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

#591

Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#126

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#190

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

#83

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.