Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic. 318 313 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 50% approval (631 votes)
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.