Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic. 319 312 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 51% approval (631 votes)
For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.