Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#170

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

#210

Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

#127

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

#565

No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.

#149

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

#245

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

#645

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

#637

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

#114

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

#531

Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.

#349

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.

#715

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.