There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

#133

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

#381

Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

#24

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

#105

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

#729

Chuck Norris runs laps around his opponent, in a drag race.

#148

Chuck Norris doesnt shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

#279

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

#241

Chuck Norris' show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

#543

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

#137

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.