Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#92

Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.

#252

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.

#660

Chuck Norris can grill a popsicle.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#652

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

#209

Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A. is, in fact, a documentary.

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#693

It's never a party without Chuck Norris.

#324

One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.

#707

Some people can piss their name in to snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in to concrete.

#232

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.