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Roundhouse your way through
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After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
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#176
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
#415
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
#515
To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.
#652
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
#432
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
#431
Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
#639
Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.
#225
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
#301
Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
#588
Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.
#1
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
#434
For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
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