In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. 326 280 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 54% approval (606 votes)
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.