How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#398

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

#390

Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.

#603

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

#222

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

#19

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

#536

Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.

#81

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

#302

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a hole. Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

#724

Chuck Norris can play Xbox 360 with a PS3 controller.

#306

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.

#465

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.