How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#61

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

#734

When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

#637

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

#412

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

#327

They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.

#725

Chuck Norris can read and write emails from a typewriter.

#265

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

#615

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

#26

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

#259

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

#240

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris"

#651

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.