Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. 391 321 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 55% approval (712 votes)
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.