Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#369

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

#717

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

#24

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

#685

Chuck Norris CAN count his chickens before they hatch.

#491

Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

#232

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

#293

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#708

Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.

#702

Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.

#589

Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.