Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. 391 323 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 55% approval (714 votes)
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.
Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.