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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
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#179
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
#523
Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
#36
The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.
#428
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
#502
Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
#29
Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
#89
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
#471
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
#490
All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
#686
Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.
#228
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
#258
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
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