Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it. 336 308 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 52% approval (644 votes)
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.