Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims. 305 239 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 56% approval (544 votes)
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.