Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#448

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#178

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#56

Chuck Norris' brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

#464

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.

#708

Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.

#547

Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.

#602

Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.

#264

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

#477

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.