Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

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More Chuck Norris facts

#1

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

#473

A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

#602

Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.

#341

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

#640

Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#325

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

#644

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush. He roundhouse kicks it to the face.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#5

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

#410

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

#451

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.