Roundhouse your way through 682 Chuck Norris facts

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

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Related Chuck Norris Facts

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.