One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#519

Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

#318

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

#457

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

#135

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#735

Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.

#599

How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.

#266

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

#717

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#470

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

#411

When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

#283

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.