One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#714

When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.

#467

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#651

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

#373

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#291

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

#197

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

#747

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#282

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

#301

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

#642

Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.