One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#639

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

#344

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

#723

Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.

#25

When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

#41

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

#330

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

#202

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

#68

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#414

Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.

#19

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

#365

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

#518

Chuck Norris can access private methods.