One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#725

Chuck Norris can read and write emails from a typewriter.

#42

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God".

#135

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#515

To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.

#686

Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#518

Chuck Norris can access private methods.

#262

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

#659

Chuck Norris' cat has 10 lives.

#24

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

#420

Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

#372

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.