One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#275

Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

#550

Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.

#395

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#214

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

#131

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).

#7

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

#378

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

#107

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.

#338

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

#721

Chuck Norris fought the law, and Chuck Norris won.