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One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
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#377
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
#185
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
#734
When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
#683
Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.
#442
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
#638
Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.
#607
Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.
#297
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
#161
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
#722
Chuck Norris once won the Kentucky Derby, on foot.
#678
The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
#105
Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.
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