Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#187

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

#486

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

#591

Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.

#626

Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.

#311

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

#619

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

#378

President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.

#444

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

#82

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

#201

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

#437

Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.