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Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.
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#294
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
#444
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
#175
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
#682
Chuck Norris voids warranties.
#33
Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.
#95
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
#391
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
#602
Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.
#653
Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.
#168
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
#723
Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.
#135
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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