Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.

255 343

More Chuck Norris facts

#555

Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.

#736

When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss nervously looks away.

#249

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

#179

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

#292

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#610

Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Chuck Norris' shooting practice.

#523

Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.

#726

Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#166

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.

#652

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.