Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience. 260 345 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 43% approval (605 votes)
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.