Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#467

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

#156

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

#270

Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#371

Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.

#589

Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.

#733

Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.

#355

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

#686

Chuck Norris can look at you in a tone of voice.

#697

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

#541

Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.

#207

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.