Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#86

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

#312

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

#144

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

#728

Chuck Norris has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.

#96

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

#67

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

#338

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#710

When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.

#510

Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

#515

To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.

#230

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.