Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#464

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.

#548

Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.

#188

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.

#307

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

#406

The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

#575

Each hair in Chuck Norris' beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.

#79

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#154

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

#216

Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

#373

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

#399

In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.