Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood. 354 315 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 53% approval (669 votes)
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.