Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

347 316

More Chuck Norris facts

#103

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

#182

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

#693

It's never a party without Chuck Norris.

#143

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

#358

182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.

#731

Chuck Norris can cut through steak with a plastic spoon.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#28

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'.

#733

Santa Claus tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.

#773

While investigating a series of reported sonic booms in the area around Chuck Norris' home, authorities determined Chuck was just testing chili recipes.

#717

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.