Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood. 350 316 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 53% approval (666 votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.
Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.