Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#657

Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.

#470

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

#406

The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

#503

Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations... ever.

#353

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

#586

Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.

#729

Chuck Norris runs laps around his opponent, in a drag race.

#180

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

#555

Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.

#53

Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.

#504

Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.