Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

350 316

More Chuck Norris facts

#727

Chuck Norris bit the apple logo.

#254

Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#652

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

#697

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

#154

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#418

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

#297

Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.

#502

Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.

#707

Some people can piss their name in to snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in to concrete.

#13

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.