Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#683

Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.

#722

Chuck Norris once won the Kentucky Derby, on foot.

#681

Chuck Norris CAN talk about fight club.

#89

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

#621

Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

#334

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

#638

Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.

#364

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#711

What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#18

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.