Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#292

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

#735

Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.

#8

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

#422

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#468

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

#230

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

#459

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

#490

All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

#696

When Chuck Norris claps his hands thunder stays quiet.

#681

Chuck Norris CAN talk about fight club.