Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

347 316

More Chuck Norris facts

#450

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

#647

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

#543

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

#99

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

#680

Chuck fires a 6-round revolver 7 times.

#229

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

#409

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

#637

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#774

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird!

#233

Chuck Norris' favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.

#338

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.